Have you ever walked into a business event and wanted to disappear behind the nearest pot plant? Ever been introduced to someone and, when they asked what you do, forgot your entire life story? Or had an idea to share within your business, but been too nervous to speak up?
For most small business owners, confidence doesn’t magically show up the day you start a business. Being in business can, in fact, lay bare all the things that you’re not confident about. Building that confidence is an important process in your business.
So that when you put yourself out there, that little voice in your head saying “are you sure?” doesn’t hold you back from living up to your potential.
You might be surprised to learn that business networking can play a significant role in this growth journey.
Confidence Comes From Doing
It’s easy to think that you need to be confident before taking the necessary steps to build your business. You become confident, and then you start networking. You get your confidence up, and then you start posting on social media. But that just feeds the procrastination cycle.
In reality, it often works the other way around. Or it at least works better. And faster.
You come along to a networking group for the first time, manage to survive the awkward introductions, speak up, have a few laughs, and realise maybe it’s not that bad. Then you keep attending, and with the support of everyone in the room, gradually you’ll realise that you can actually do this.
Confidence is built from experience. The more you put yourself in situations that require clear communication, genuine connection, and authentic participation, the more comfortable you’ll start to feel in those situations.
You don’t need to walk into your first networking meeting bursting with confidence. But you do need to walk through the door.
Communicating Confidently Takes Time
Confidence is sometimes confused with being loud and outgoing, but they’re not the same thing. You don’t need to be the loudest in the room. You just need to be authentically you.
It can help you grow your confidence to simply talk about your business and explain what you do. While you know your business inside out, explaining it to someone who knows nothing about it is another challenge entirely. At first your explanation might be too long and too technical, and the next time it might be too short and vague. The more you talk about your business, the closer you’ll get to something that sounds just right.
And once you’ve got it just right, you’ll find that you stop explaining yourself and just start having a conversation with the other person. That’s the confidence you’re after.
Once you’re happy with talking about your business, networking can also help build your public speaking confidence.
No, that doesn’t mean you have to become a professional keynote speaker or create your own TED Talk from your networking group.
It’s much smaller than, but still equally as important as, that. Building up from something as simple as introducing yourself clearly, to openly sharing an idea during a discussion, asking questions of a presenter, to doing your own presentation.
Networking can help you find a style of communication that feels like you, not a mould of what everyone expects.
Networking Gives You a Safe Place to Practice
You can practice talking about your business as much as you want in your head or in front of the mirror. The second someone asks you, and you have to repeat what you’ve practised to a real person, you’ll probably forget your whole pitch. Ask me how I know.
There’s something entirely different about practising our pitch face-to-face with another person compared to practising by yourself. You can convince yourself that what you’re saying is brilliant and that you should be pitching to the team on Dragons’ Den. Then, once you say it out loud and realise that it takes about three minutes to explain something that could’ve been said in 30 seconds.
Your networking group gives you a safe space to test your ideas, refine your explanations, and try different approaches without the pressure of a formal sales presentation.
You can experiment, get some feedback, and try again the next week. And eventually you’ll find the words that feel right to you.
Personal Feedback Changes How You See Yourself
We can be pretty hard on ourselves, which certainly doesn’t help our self-confidence. Surprisingly, networking can help here too.
Listening to what other people have to say about you can be a real confidence booster. And it’s not always comments like “Wow, you’re amazing” that are the confidence boosters. It’s the subtle ones.
Someone might compliment your presentation and say you’re great at explaining complicated ideas. Or point out that you’re a great connector. Another person might make a passing comment about how clever your solution to something is. On the flip side, if you’re having a challenging time, hearing that other people have had the same problem can help your confidence too, because knowing you’re not the only one makes you feel less alone in that.
A networking group can provide a regular stream of encouragement, feedback and perspective that helps you recognise what you’re actually good at. And your self-confidence grows simply because someone else believed in your ability before you fully believed in it yourself.
Confidence Grows by Helping Others
Networking isn’t only about what you receive; it’s also about what you give. And helping others can be a powerful confidence boost too.
Maybe you share something you’ve learned in your business, give them an idea, or even share industry advice free of charge, because you know it will be useful information for them to know. Perhaps you introduce two people who should know each other or recommend a supplier. Or maybe you just listen to someone who is having a difficult day.
Seeing people implement your advice and have it be helpful for them is a real confidence booster. You aren’t just someone trying to figure out your own business. You have something valuable to contribute that people trust you enough to use and that actually works. Realising that is an important part of building your confidence.
Translating Conversations into Better Marketing
One of the hardest things in business is figuring out how to market your business. Because you’re the expert in your industry, but you’re not the client. And it can be very difficult to figure out what it is that your customers want to hear when you’re too busy actually doing the work.
This is where an often overlooked benefit of networking can be of use: listening to others. Simply by having conversations with others, you can get a good idea of what your marketing messaging could be.
They may ask questions that you hadn’t thought of. Questions that you can make content out of or that you can add to your website. You’d be surprised what people don’t know about your business or industry. And you have the opportunity to use their feedback to answer those questions for your potential clients before they even have to ask.
Their other comments and feedback can also change the direction of your marketing. It could be that they don’t understand an aspect of what you’re talking about, or perhaps they just have an idea that you could use. Because other people see things that we can’t when we’re engrossed in the business, the people in your networking group are the perfect people to run things past before you press go. They can put themselves in the shoes of your audience when you can’t.
Hearing their diverse range of ideas, opinions, questions, and feedback can help you to hone your marketing messaging to something that converts.
Taking Confident Steps Forward
Talking to other business owners can help give you the confidence to make strategic decisions.
While business strategists do have their place in your business journey and we do recommend getting one when you need them, calling on the hive mind of your networking group is a great starting place. On the one hand, you get to hear from subject matter experts and on the other, you get to hear the lived experiences of others who have been in the same situation.
Whether it be a new marketing venture, a new product line, dealing with a difficult client, or working with staff, there will be someone who has been in your shoes. They’ve made the mistakes, questioned their decisions, had the difficult conversations, and wondered whether they were doing it right. And most of the time, they’re also very happy to share their insights.
Learning that you’re not the only one experiencing these things can be incredibly reassuring, and while it doesn’t make the problem disappear, leaning on them can make taking the next step much less stressful and more strategic.
You Don’t Need to Arrive Confident
Perhaps the biggest misconception about networking is that you need to be confident before you start. You don’t.
You can arrive nervous. You can be awkward. And you can forget someone’s name five seconds after they’ve introduced themselves.
That’s okay, because we all do the same thing!
Confidence isn’t an entry requirement to a networking group. It’s one of the things you can build along the way.
At The Networkers NZ, we believe networking should be about people first. That means creating an environment where you can get to know people, have genuine conversations, share experiences, and gradually become more comfortable putting yourself and your business out there.
Sometimes the biggest thing you take away from a networking meeting isn’t a referral. It’s the confidence that you can do this.
